How to destroy your CPU by lapping it
By Hal Licino
Of all the incredibly stupid things people do to their CPUs, including overclocking them until they are hot enough to melt steel, the single most imbecilic modification has to be lapping. Using absurdly skewed logic and completely unsupported data, lappers believe that by physically grinding down the surfaces of their CPUs to make them flatter and gain better contact with the similarly lapped surfaces of their heatsink fan cooler assembly they will lower their operating temperatures up to 20 degrees C.
The miraculous advantages of lapping are evangelized by the same sort of online loonies who believe that Microsoft and AOL are giving away merchandise and cash just for forwarding an email message, three triangulated cell phones can pop popcorn kernels, and that Barack Obama was sworn into his Senatorial office with his hand on the Koran.
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The process of lapping involves grinding down the top surface of your new CPU with 300 grit sandpaper, which is repeatedly soaked in soapy water. That is about as close as I can imagine to having a perfect formula to irrevocably destroy a computer processor. If the constant static electricity buildup of repeatedly rubbing a CPU with an abrasive is not enough, and even if you can make sure that all the little metal shavings don't migrate to the underside of the processor to short it out, exactly who told you that soapy water and silicon processors mix?
Lapping is supposed to be complete when the silvery surface coating of the CPU is all gone and it reveals the coppery colored core material. Of course this assumes that the CPU manufacturers have invested countless billions of dollars into Research & Development just to coat their processors with a completely useless if not wholly counterproductive metal coating! If anyone wanted to pit the indepth knowledge and understanding of CPU heat transfer technology, I'd always put my money on some socially handicapped zit-faced 13 year old kid in his parents' basement than I will on the entire engineering staff of Intel! NOT!
The lapping is not only restricted to CPUs. Lapping enthusiasts just love to grind down the surfaces on aftermarket third party CPU air coolers, some of which retail for over $100! The lapping lunatics forums are full of descriptions of how to take the mating surface of an expensive air cooler all the way down to the metal substrate!
Lapping not only immediately voids your warranty and prevents any RMA returns but does absolutely nothing at all other than create insane illusions in the minds of lappers who like to boast that they got a mirror finish on their copper IHS and now have dropped their overclock load temperatures into Arctic territory. The bottom line is that no CPU nor HSF ever require lapping and just judicious application of a proper thermal grease is more than enough to ensure proper mating and heat transfer.
If you are ever tempted to lap your CPU do this instead: stand on polyester carpeting with your socks while you press your CPU onto the 3500 rpm spinning gray 60 grit wheel of a nice Black & Decker BT3500 bench grinder. Keep going until the static tingle in your fingers turns into sharp shocks and the IHS is ground down to where the actual circuitry is visible. Now your CPU will work perfectly. If you'll believe that, you'll also believe that Microsoft Bob was the best Operating System in history, Enron stock was a profitable investment, and Hancock was a great superhero movie.
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Comments
Hi Hal! I have a few things maybe why intel doesn't lap their CPUs.
1. It would make the CPUs cost more, not by a lot, but it would still be an increase.
2. Not saying that it does, but lets say lapping works. So say I lap my CPU, and the temp. drops by 6 C. Now, lets say I overclock my CPU. it used to be stable @ 3.0 Ghz. But now, since it runs cooler, It can run @ 3.4 Ghz stable. Buying from Intel, an increase from 3.0 to 3.4 could cost 20 - 50 more dollars. So if Intel lapped their CPUs, they would sell less of their high end CPU, because people could just buy a lesser model, but till get high speeds.
Thanks just why I think maybe Intel doesnt lap their CPUs. What do you think about what I said?
Sir, LAPPERS ARE MORONS. That's the end of the discussion. Unlike you, I don't use the R word as it is derogatory and offensive... just like lappers.
Still lapping up the attention and hits i see.
You really should give it up and come clean that you where wrong and move on to the next attention seeking post.
Does it void your warranty? Yes. That means the manufacturers with their thousands of degreed engineers know it damages their product. That makes it idiotic. Now shut up. :P
You really just have no clue. Lapping is a proven method of improving the thermal transfer from CPU to heatsink. This is coming from 8 years in microchip design, and a Doctorate in Electrical Engineering. You are welcome to disagrea, as long as you have a degree in the field, and have worked in the field before.
And yeah, I come from OCN. I'm proud of it. I wasn't one of the people that flamed you for posting this hit, but if I was there, I would have.
OCN? Sheesh! Figures you'd be from that clan of dodos... just another waste of protoplasm. :P
Intel and AMD did not invest BILLIONS of dollars in R&D of the IHS (integrated heat sink).
Its obvious from your article that you have never lapped anything. So you dont really have a leg to stand on in my opinion. And if anyone used 300 grit sandpaper to lap anything, then they're a fool and obviously didn't research lapping AT ALL. Which it seems that you have done. Or rather, failed to do.
You're giving half of the information about lapping to anyone reading your article. And NOWEHERE does it say to SOAK your CPU in soapy water. So upon further reading your article, it seems to me that you're an imbecile. That you simply can not follow even the most rudimentory instruction.
And by sanding down the IHS, PLEASE DO TELL HOW THIS DESTROYS CPUS? You're sanding a coated piece of copper. So, this makes the CPU inoperable how exactly? Oh, thats right, it doesn't. Because you sir FAIL. Please don't comment on things which you OBVIOUSLY have no knowledge.
Good day to you sir.
Glad we're amusing you. And no, I'm not lapping anything. Thank you. :)
Hal Licino 3 years ago
Hi John Lacey.
Thanks for your comment!
1. I think that when we analyze this statement in depth, we find that it's not necessarily the case. If anything, the cost of adding metal to the IHS is an extra expense and eliminating it is going to be cheaper. Although I'm not privy to Intel's private engineering reports on IHSs, it would seem that the secondary heat spreader needs to work in conjunction with the primary unit (copper) in order to dissipate heat more effectively. I trust that the additional metal on the IHS is also there to add structural integrity and to prevent the CPU from being damaged in puncture incidents, etc. We also need to consider the corrosion issue with exposed copper. We've all seen green corroding copper and that is not exactly my idea of a great CPU facing material. Regardless, the cost of that much metal on a CPU is so minimal that it really shouldn't affect the bottom line costs.
2. I most certainly don't buy the vroom vroom factor. Intel has been pulling out every engineering trick possible to get their CPU speeds up and if it was so simple that just yanking off a metal cover would do the trick, they would have resorted to that already. Besides, with CPU binning, there is a natural adjustment of speeds across a processor family so that the overall curve of slow to fast is relatively stable.
I think when we consider the entire situation from scratch, I would put the highest merit on secondary heat spreading and prevention of copper corrosion as the main reasons why IHS technology is implemented as it is.